Yeah, I know what you're talking about! I've definitely had less experience than you would've had, but even still I haven't met a good sound person who has rigged my kit the way I want it to sound.
I've had sound guys rush me through sound checks & then during the gig they're scratching their heads thinking why don't the [url=http://www.drumandbass.org]drums[/url] sound right?
By the way, I've only ever had one mic on my snare from above. When you're doing a sound check you can usually hear those 'Ghost notes' but when the whole band is going they disappear (like the ghosts they are!). Have you used 2 mics on your snare at all - top & bottom - & how does it sound?
Though I realise sometimes the limited channels on the mixer dictates how many mics I can use on my kit.